Dear fucking asshole who stole my secret paws present:
Yeah, that's pretty strong language for a kitteh. I heard it tonight from my Mom when she found out that UPS dropped off my present on Friday at the front door of an unsecured building even though they didn't have permission from Mom to do that.
Anyway, I hope it made you really happy to steal my present. I bet you wished it was something better, maybe something you could sell so you could have some money to do whatever deuchebags like you do when you take things that aren't yours. I bet you were pissed to find out it was a cat toy.
Or maybe you laughed and thought how pathetic that a person would send a present to a cat. Maybe you can read and you saw that I participated in a "Secret Paws" gift swap with other cats across the world.
Let me tell you this: It may be silly, but that's not for you to judge. And it doesn't matter if I got sent a gold-plated iPhone or a box of plastic kumquats--those were MY plastic kumquats. Someone picked it out for me. Someone spent money and time and energy doing something nice for another person and their kitteh. And your name wasn't on it and you took it and you had to go and piss all over it.
And now if the nice person who bought me that present wants their money back, they're gonna halfta call UPS, and that is about as fun as eating dirty poopy litter. . . which is now my nickname for you, Jerkface.
Happy Holidays!
Oh Wendell, how awful!!!! Yur sure it wasn't picked up by a neighbor by mistake or to keeps it safe? People are weird. And mean. Not like us kitties. I hiss on that person.
ReplyDeleteI don't think so. In the past people have left things at my front door. And they've had 3 days. But you are a much more positive thinker than mom so maybe it will work out.
ReplyDeleteAnd I doubt a neighbor would keep it by "mistake." I am the only kitteh who lives in this building.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry your present was taken Wendell, it was a Catit massage center, a catnip fat bird from Etsy, a bag of nip for the massage center, 2 Wellness bags of meat and gravy.
ReplyDeleteMommy ordered the Catit on sale from Petco so she bought one for us too.
We think you should ask your local paper to print an article "Please return Wendell's Christmas!"
Maybe even put a note up where it was taken...that person will probably pass by again! We hope it may be returned to us so we can send it back........purrrrrin' you get back your Christmas Wendell. The Cat Street Boyz
Wendell. We are so sorry that some scumbag had to be a grinch and spoil your Christmas! We do not understand why people can be so mean!
ReplyDeleteI will not use the language to describe this evil person who ruined the Holidays for u Wendell. I hope that person has such bad luck that the crimibal admits he/she took your gifts. I'm glad I send all stuff for Winnie Tigger and me to the UPS Store
ReplyDeleteMom feels worse for the nice person who put such thought into what would be an awesome gift than she does for me. CatStreetBoyz, I would call UPS and at least get your shipping refunded. They had no business leaving it in the foyer of my building. The door is not locked; anyone could have taken it.
ReplyDeleteFrom human: And yeah, Catman, I've had problems with UPS before but never like this. I figured I might have to schlep to the post office to pick something up. I forgot that some people send UPS.
We are sorry that some miserable specimen of a Human stole your gift Wendell. Whatever happened to the spirit of Goodwill at Christmas? We hope they get what they deserve for such a mean minded act.
ReplyDeleteWe hope they choke on the treats!
ReplyDeleteIt makes me feel sad inside that somebody would steal a kitteh's present.
ReplyDeleteOh poor Wendell. We are so sorry someone stole your Secret Paws package. We wish there was something we could do, but unfortunately, there are some mean people in this world. It was very nice of the Cat Street Boyz to write you and describe what they sent. We're keeping our paws crossed it is returned to you.
ReplyDeleteTruffle and Brulee
Thank you Truffle and Brulee. YEs, it was very nice of the Cat Street Boyz to describe my gifts, and they sound like very nice gifts. They sound very cool. But Mom got me a new scratcher and life goes on.
ReplyDelete