Whiskers and Prozac

Mancat Monday: Chillin'

2012-01-30T14:16:00.001-08:00

It's Da Weekend

2012-01-27T18:32:00.001-08:00

WoooooooooooHooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Dat Bird Was Delishous.

2012-01-17T20:59:00.000-08:00

Secret Paws Miracle!

2012-01-17T15:00:00.000-08:00

Guys guys guys! Remember when my Secret Paws present went missing? Well, Connie at Tales From the Foster Kittens thought that was super uncool, and she had Santa send me all new presents. Thanks, Connie!

Presents? For me?

Let me sit here on Envelope Island and smell this new feather toy.

My own light saber! I'm gonna use teh force and junk.

Birdies!

Feather Bell Thingy!

Thanks for all my toys!

One of Connie's foster kittehs had to go to the bridge this week, and that's way worse than not getting Secret Paws presents, so please go over there and say hi.

Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-04T02:51:00.000-08:00

Yo! Frankie! What's Up?

2012-01-04T02:45:00.001-08:00

Wendell Attacks a Thing

2011-12-28T17:55:00.000-08:00

Mom said the last video didn't have enouf of my face so here's me attacking a thing that was wrapped around another thing but then went into the garbage so I wouldn't eat it. Watch it she added music and everything. Hers is a life well spent.

My Scratcher Ball Rolly Thing Which I Got For Hanookah

2011-12-28T17:13:00.000-08:00

Last night was the 8th and final night of Hanookah. Lookit what I got!
Mom saw that I was using my little narrow scratcher a lot so she went to Petsmart and found me this bigger one. And it was on sale, which Mom likes 'cause sometimes she's cheap.

To quote Shirley MacLaine when she won her Oscar in 1983, "I deserve this." What? Can't a fella like Shirley Maclaine?

This is me right after Mom opened it. I started scratching right away. Then she put the catnip it came with on and I was all, "Yeah, dat's the stuff" and I got a little trippy.

Mom says looking at my head makes her want vanilla fudge swirl ice cream. Do they even make that anymore?

And here's a video of me playing with my new scratcher. Mom's foot helped me figure out what to do with the ball.

Then we had Shake and Bake and Nom chicken and I passed out on the bed.

The Grinch Who Stole My Stuff

2011-12-26T19:15:00.000-08:00

Dear fucking asshole who stole my secret paws present:

Yeah, that's pretty strong language for a kitteh. I heard it tonight from my Mom when she found out that UPS dropped off my present on Friday at the front door of an unsecured building even though they didn't have permission from Mom to do that.

Anyway, I hope it made you really happy to steal my present. I bet you wished it was something better, maybe something you could sell so you could have some money to do whatever deuchebags like you do when you take things that aren't yours. I bet you were pissed to find out it was a cat toy.

Or maybe you laughed and thought how pathetic that a person would send a present to a cat. Maybe you can read and you saw that I participated in a "Secret Paws" gift swap with other cats across the world.

Let me tell you this: It may be silly, but that's not for you to judge. And it doesn't matter if I got sent a gold-plated iPhone or a box of plastic kumquats--those were MY plastic kumquats. Someone picked it out for me. Someone spent money and time and energy doing something nice for another person and their kitteh. And your name wasn't on it and you took it and you had to go and piss all over it.

And now if the nice person who bought me that present wants their money back, they're gonna halfta call UPS, and that is about as fun as eating dirty poopy litter. . . which is now my nickname for you, Jerkface.

Happy Holidays!

Secret Paws

2011-12-26T15:13:00.001-08:00

Guys guys guys.
So I haven't gotten my Secret Paws yet but Mom got a UPS thingy on Thursday. She accidentally threw it out but then she didn't get a "second day" one on Friday. Today there was no UPS delivery but if you were our secret paws and you have a UPS tracking number we can use to call them dat'd be cool. Sorry for da troubles. We didn't think about UPS when we signed up and shoulda put Mom's work address 'cause UPS at home is not so good.

For You, A Question

2011-12-26T14:19:00.000-08:00

Why do they call it Shake N Bake? They are leaving out da best part. They should call it Shake N Bake N Nom.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T14:38:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all my kitteh friends! I hope Santa brought you something awesome.

Wordless Wednesday: It's Time to Celebrate Chanukah!

2011-12-21T08:27:00.001-08:00

2011-12-19T20:38:00.000-08:00

When I said "Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree" I wasn't singing a Christmas song, I was placing a takeout order. What's a fella gotta do ta get some poultry around here?

Please Vote For My LOLz!

2011-12-12T16:59:00.001-08:00

Dreidel? I Don't See No Stinking Dreidel.

2011-12-12T16:42:00.000-08:00

Mom told Aunt J. last week that I chased after a dreidel when she spun it and Aunt J. said Mom should make a video. So of course when Mom tried to make a video I had to show how much I really didn't care. 'Cause I'm a cool cat like that.

2011-12-10T19:24:00.001-08:00

Mom said she needed a new man whore and I was all, "Whoah, dat is too much information. Also I never knew you had an old man whore." Then I realized she said "menorah" and that made more sense. . . well, about as much sense as setting a fire in your apartment every day for 8 days.

2011-12-06T16:16:00.001-08:00

What Rainy Days R Good Fur

2011-12-06T09:08:00.001-08:00

Mancat Monday

2011-11-28T13:09:00.001-08:00

Mom says she refuses to buy anything from a pet-related site that doesn't advertise today's sales as "Cy-purr Monday." She says it's an easy and obvious pun and it's crazy not to use it.


This picture is from 3 apartments ago.

Oh MI Cod, You Guys!

2011-11-25T16:39:00.001-08:00

I didn't get turkeys but Mom remembered that she had cod bites in her freezer! Now I didn't know why anyone would wanna get bitten by a cold fish but instead they were like little golden balls of fishy goodness! And I got to eat some of it! Mom ate hers with cock tail sauce which I thought was a funny name for something without feathers. Mom says you can get cod bites at Target. Here is a picture not of me eating cod bites but just of me sitting in a bed on a chair in an apartment in New Jersey on Earth.

Santa didn't see his shadow at the end of the parade...

2011-11-25T06:34:00.001-08:00

...so we don't get six more weeks of November.

Here I Am Again!

2011-11-16T10:11:00.001-08:00

This is me during the freak October snowstorm we had. As you
can tell, I didn't lose any sleep over it. That's my blue bed,
on my blue chair. I'm blue yadadiyadada.

OK, I know it's been over a YEAR since I posted last, but a lot's happened.

We moved to New Yuck City. And it was really bad and we won't talk about it. We stayed for five months and then we moved to a friend's apartment while the friend was away and that was really, really bad because there were two other kittehs living there and they were very mean to me. That was another four months until Mom's friend came home.

Then we moved back to New Jersey, but we were so wiped out from all the mooving that we had Grammie and Aunt J. find a new place. We didn't give them much time. The place isn't great (there are roachies, and they are hard to catch!) but hopefully it will stay our home for the rest of the 1-year lease. I'm tired from all the mooving.

I'm having some health issues (I'm a senior citizen now, at 10), and Mom doesn't like the new vet we went to. He SHAVED my neck and then jabbed me with a needle like 4 times trying to get my blood out of my neck while the nurse held my head! So she's going to take me back to our old vet in another part of New Jersey even though it's gonna cost like a bazillion dollars in cab fare.

I still love chasing toy mousies [Mom edit: Chasing now means "You toss the mousie to me and I will attack it if it is in paw's reach."] I love my blue circle bed and playing "Let's throw stuff off the table." And of course I still go crazy for shrimps! And my favorite TV show is now Grace and Atomy. I watch it every week and sometimes Mom puts it on the Roku, which I also love. OK dat is all for now. Maybe I won't go another year without posting.

I Tells You When To Sleeps

2010-11-04T14:36:00.000-07:00

All day Mom was complaining about how she didn't wake up early enouf to take me to the V-E-T because I woke her up at 3oclock in the morning and she didn't go back to sleepies till 5, and it took her all day to reelize I planned it all that way.

But tomorrow she's having Grammy wake her up early so I thinks I'm gonna havta go to the V-E-T for my last checkup in New Jersey.

Mom says being terrified tomorrow morning will be good practice for being terrified on moving day. I don't think I likes being terrified.

No pictures, please.

2010-11-02T00:41:00.000-07:00

If Da City Never Sleeps, I Gotta Take More Naps

2010-11-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

OK, so it's been almosta year since I started a blog and then didn't write in it. And in that year, what happened? I'll tell you what happened. New Yuck City happened.

On Saturday I'm doing the M word, which I've heard about on Max's blog and I am not too happy about it. I am a Jersey boy through and through. I liveded here my whole life. The only time I went to New Yuck City was when I had my surgery and that was not fun at all.

You know what is fun? Mom cleaneded up the apartment and it's almost empty 'cept for lots of boxes I can jump in sit in and stare out of saying, "Yo, it's just me. Sitting in a box."

Grumbly in My Tummy

2009-12-19T09:53:00.000-08:00

Mom bought me one of those 'spensive totally not worth wasting money on Fancy Feast appetizers and gave it to me this morning and I ate it so fast it ran away and I throwded it up. And the Mom cleaned it up and said, "You can't have anything else delicious today."

Bitch.

So here's a picture of me snuggling with Mom and staring longingly at the kitchen.

PPPFffffffflllllttttt

2009-12-16T05:47:00.000-08:00

Wake Up Call

2009-12-16T05:42:00.000-08:00

I don know why Mom has an alarm clock. She hits da snoooooooooooze button and it just gives up for like tenty minnits. I don't have a snoooooooooze button. I stab her in da eye over andover till she gets up and I don't stop.

Den she's up and sleepy and has to go to werk and I go to sleep. Hey, being an alarm clock cat makes me need a nap!

Mom, You're Smothering Me!

2009-12-06T21:19:00.000-08:00

Cat Anguish Haiku

2009-12-06T19:15:00.000-08:00

Lil' Jack Sparrow is gettin' his hackey sacks emptied tomorrow, so I wrote him dis Haiku. Don't worry, Jack. It happens to the best of us. You're still a man!

Oh, empty scrotum
How I miss my testicles
Being neutered sucks

A Heated Discushion

2009-12-06T13:39:00.000-08:00

OK, here's da ting about Mom. . . she's KRAZY. And. . . and. . . she wants me to freeze. See, she says she doesn't like it when the furnace comes on, 'cause it's loud and old and smells bad and costsus moneys. Now, I loves it when the furnace comes on, 'cause I can go to the blowy place where the warm comes out and take a naps with all the warm.

It's December, and da furnace hasn't been on yet. Maybe she needs more fur to turn it on? Maybe I leave her some extras.

She said something about sixty is where it's gonna be this year. SIXTY! That's like penguin temprature.

Here's where I need yur help. Mom says she might get me one of those beds that is powered by kitty. . . like, I lie on it and it gets warm! But she doesn't know if it works so good. Anyone have one of dese? She says I can't have a plugin one because she won't leave it on when she's at work.

The only good thing about dis is Mom uses the oven when it gets really cold 'cause that makes the apartment hot so tonight I gets chicken! (This kinda sucks when she makes squash, 'cause I don't like squash. I like squashing little spiders with my paw, but not da same thing.)

Hi, I'm Wendell. And You Are Not

2009-12-05T16:09:00.000-08:00

So. . . my mom decided she didn't want to blog so much anymore.

But wait--DIS blog isn't about her. It's about me. Da cat. My name is Wendell and I'm 8 years old I don't need a governess. (We watch The Sound of Music a lot, which is weird 'cause I thought you were supposda hear sound, not watch it.) Let's get the stinky outta the way first:

I have cat asthma and two years ago I hadda have a piece of plastic taken outta me and it cost thousands and thousands of dollars. I also hadda have all my fangs removed 'cause I was born with some weird gum disease. You might say I'm a kitty nerd.

Now, da good stuff:
I live in NJ and I don't like it when people make funna New Jersey. Shure, we gots our problems, but it's really not that bad a state.

I was borned probably in Jersey City, but all they told Mom was that I came from a house with too many kitties. (Is there such a thing?)

I was borned a few weeks before nineeleven which made Mom really sad and scared and she decided it was time for a cat in her life. That's really good, 'cause I had just decided it was time for a chubby, curly-headed trivia, movie and musical theater loving crazy woman in my life.

We live in an apartment and my food dish is maybe 25 kitty steps from the bedroom to the kittychen but I still wake up mom in the middle of the night to walk me to the dish.

We already follow a coupla cat blogs like Buddha and Max and Victor and Nina.

I'm a lover, not a biter. I hate cat treats but I love corn. I am a catnip snob. When mom comes home I cry till she picks me up. The cat sitter says I'm needy. He's right. I accept that my nickname is Stinky Pete, especially 'cause I don't answer to anything I'm called. I live by the philosophy that you can't judge a package by its box, because who really cares what's in the box, just give me the freaking empty box.

Okay that's it for now. Welcome to my blog. Try not to get it messy.